Curvy Model, Wannabe chicken shop ambassador. Today we talk to Melbourne’s laziest genius, Dave the Beagle!
I am a 4-Year-old Beagle from Melbourne
What’s your thoughts on Snoopy?
I don’t know Snoopy personally, and I’m normally not one to throw shade, however, I think it could be time for a new kid on the block to take the reigns as the most loved Beagle in the world, and his name rhymes with Brave.
I think I am more humble than Snoopy who still seems to be cashing in on his fame, despite being an old timer now. Having said that I admire his attitude, love of sleep, pizza and general distrust of cats.
If you had to compare to a human, who would you say your spirit human is?
This one is easy, Hugh Jackman. Although he is far more active than I will ever be, I admire his work as Wolverine and he was incredible in the Boy from Oz. I also think he is an all-round good guy. I also look up to Beyonce and Oprah.
Let’s talk exercise. It’s somehow caught on in the past thirty years. What’s your take on it?
Call me old fashioned, but I’m not a fan of the exercise craze. Napping is underrated if you ask me. In order to live a fulfilled and happy life, one must be well fed and rested.
Exercise seems to contradict both of these activities.
The vet and the human seem to think I am a little overweight but I beg to disagree. My neck rolls and barrel like stomach have proved to be a hit with the ladies.
I tried a Zumba class once but pulled my neck, so that was the end of that. Yoga is OK because the stretches help me when it comes to stealing food from awkward places. The human likes to walk around in active wear and pretend that she goes to the gym, but I know the truth and have tried to convince her to just get real, because no one believes her otherwise.
What about diet then? You have a busy social schedule. Birthdays, product launches, naps in the park. How do you find the energy?
Diet is not a word I like to use, I base my eating habits on lifestyle choices and I choose to eat chicken, and whatever canapés they serve at social events. I am particularly fond of a mini slider. I do try to stay away from dairy these days after an incident with a cheese board.
I find I conserve energy by vigorously sleeping for approximately 20 hours of the day and eating grilled chicken most of the week.
The corporate world sees this interview and starts calling. You’ve got Nando’s offering sponsorship on one line and Lilydale Free Range on the other? Do you go straight to the source, or the spice?
I have toyed with other chicken brands in the past but there is only one brand I am interested. Nandos has my heart, and I have even come up with my own brand ambassador name – the Peri Peri pup. I just need them to get on board now.
My love for chicken is undeniable – in any format – however, that spice just adds a certain something which causes me to drool uncontrollably and become a little possessed if I’m honest.
You’re actually a dog of many talents, moonlighting as a tech start-up CEO by day. Tell us about your ideal corporate culture?
As the CEO of a tech startup, I manage a small team of enthusiastic millennials. I have also recruited my own human to run the admin side of things, in fact she is typing this as I dictate from the massage table. She needed another interest other than me as I found her a bit suffocating, to be honest. This keeps her busy and out of my fur.
I believe in a relaxed office culture, we aren’t quite Google in terms of work/life balance yet but I do encourage the kids to take a 5-minute walk when they can, mostly to the chicken shop next door. I admire Richard Branson for all he has achieved, starting from nothing – much like me.
Unfortunately, I have had a few scandals to deal with in the press after some leaked photos and a failed career as a topless waiter.
Lastly, for any dogs looking for a handsome, educated go-getter like yourself, what are you looking for in a soulmate?
I have been single now for over a year am most definitely on the market. My heart was broken after my ex left me for a Pomeranian. I do find it hard to trust these days, but I believe my true soulmate is out there and they will love chicken and napping as much as I do. I have tried some online apps and this is actually how my tech startup came about, I am working on a prototype that will cater specifically to dogs and it is called Barker.