I love my dog. I tell her all the time. I stare into her eyes, whispering âI love you I love you I love you;â willing a psychic connection to unite us. But honestly, Iâm not confident she always gets the message.
Of course, dogs do understand some of what we say. In 2016 Hungarian academics trained 13 dogs to lie in an MRI scanner so they could check what happened to their brains when people spoke to them. Their results showed similar activity to human brains when it came to processing meaning and emotions. Additionally key words and phrases like âgood dogâ elicited feelings of happiness in the dogs â suggesting some of the message is getting through.
But still, âgood dogâ doesnât quite convey the all-consuming, inter-dimensional, limitless love that Iâm trying to get across. So how do you say in dog: âYou are the single most important creature in the universeâ?
Before we get stuck in, remember all dogs are different so some of these suggestions could not be right for yours. More than anything, pay attention to their body language. If they seem relaxed they probably like what youâre doing. But if they pull away, flatten their ears, or look stressed maybe try another approach.
A Loving Touch Can Go a Long Way
For most people, the most instinctual way to show a dog affection is to pat them. Itâs a classic for a reason: Touching your dog (through pats, massages, or even grooming) releases oxytocinâa love chemicalâin both you and your pet. This is especially true when rubbing their ears, which are full of feeling receptors.
Dogs understand this too. You know when a dog bumps your hand for a pat? Itâs not just because it feels nice, itâs a sign of affection. They want to continue bonding with you.
Many dogs also use leaning to show love and trust. You can return the feeling by gently pressing back on them when youâre hanging outâjust be careful not to squish them!
The Look of Love
Like us, dogs get a lot of information by reading faces. When they stare lovingly theyâre both reading your mood and saying they like you; so share the good vibes by gazing sweetly back. Even just smiling at a pet triggers the release of oxytocin (that love chemical).
But make sure you keep things light: If you seem angry or stressed a long gaze can also read as aggressive to a dog.
If you want to (literally) take things up a notch, raise your eyebrows too. Japanese researchers have found that dogs raise their brows when theyâre feeling happy and connected. Do the same to show youâre glad to see them.
Use Your âDog Voiceâ
Letâs get one thing straight: everyone has a dog voice. If someone says they donât speak to their pet in weird high-pitched baby talk when theyâre alone theyâre lying (or missing out on a good thing).
Dogs respond more positively to higher pitched voices. But no matter how you sound, chatting to your dog is deeply soothing to them. That can mean making small talk, catching them up on your day, or even reading them a book. It might sound indulgent but rescue shelters have found reading is an effective way to calm and comfort dogs who are feeling scared or unsettled. Plus, most dogs are believed to understand around 165 words. So they might be following the conversation better than you think.
On the other side of things if your dog has a habit of sighing deeply or letting out a soft groan when near you itâs an extra marker of comfort. It may feel silly, but doing the same is another way to tell them you love them too.
Get Moving
Dogs are pack animals, they like getting out and running around together. A few hundred years ago, your lap dog might have expressed that urge through hunting with their buddies. But you donât need to head out and catch a rabbit to give them the same feeling of connectionâplaying with a toy will tap into that part of their brain.
A daily walk is also an expression of love; especially if you follow a routine. Dogs like doing the same thing each day, it makes them feel safe and builds trust. Itâs also a good chance to do training exercises together. Dogs interpret this pattern of rewarding their behaviour with treats or pats as affection.
Cuddle Up
Whether or not you let your dog sleep in your bed is a personal choice. But neuroscience Gregory Berns, author of How Dogs Love Us, has written that sleeping alongside you is the ultimate expression of love and closeness for a dog. To them, itâs a way of saying you trust each other totally and are part of the same pack. If you donât want to tuck them in for the whole night, you can send the same message with a nap or a cuddle on the floor or couch. It only takes a few minutes to let them know you see them as family.
What Not To Do
As you can see, there are a lot of ways to express emotions to your dog. But while theyâre often similar to how you show other family members affection, theyâre not all the same. Most dogs donât appreciate hugs as much as we do. Being enveloped can make them feel trapped and confined. Similarly, a kiss on the head can be mistaken for a little nip–which is often a sign of domination.
Also while treats are great in moderation, or as rewards while training, they arenât the best option as an ongoing act of love. Remember, keeping your dog trim and healthy so they can run around with you is the real show of affection.
When in doubt consider a scratch behind the ears, or just stare into their eyes and smile. Trust us, they know how you feel.
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